February 23, 2010
Battle Royale!
Kratos vs. Dante vs. War in a winner-takes-bragging-rights cage match
GameZone writers
break down the fight between the three modern-gaming protagonists
Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the main event!
In this corner weighing in with a ton of attitude, we have Kratos, protagonist
of a trilogy of titles (two in release and one upcoming). Kratos hails from
Sparta and enters the ring with a record of several thousand wins and just a few
respawns.
In the opposite corner, there is War, one of the Four Horsemen of the
Apocalypse. A nether-being, War is not interested in right or wrong, only in
killing anything that stands before him!
In the third corner is Dante, a Crusader who screwed up during a trip to
Jerusalem and who stalked a woman, not his wife, into the bowels of hell.
And in the fourth corner, netbooks and notepads in hand, are a pair of GZ
writers who are responsible for this contrived event.
…
whoa … wait a minute! … contrived?? … give us a break – this is honest,
investigative, subjective journalism! …
Ok, maybe it’s a little contrived, but hey, what do Kratos, Dante and War have
in common? Gameplay. The three are all products of video games sporting similar
gameplay elements, all with causes that are ethereal, esoteric on some levels
and downright imposing.
Artwork by Rashad Baiyasi
GameZone writers Marissa Meli and Michael Lafferty were tasked with putting
together thoughts that if these three iconic characters were placed in the
octagon in a no-holds-barred battle, who would emerge victorious?
As they entered the ring, if body language and personal style were any
indication, it was immediately a toss up. Kratos was wearing a blood-red robe …
hold on! are we sure that is the dye or … oh boy! … with SCEA stitched across
the back. War wears a dark cowl with THQ embroidered down the side and looks
rather stylish, while Dante has the cloth letters “EA” stitched to his right
shoulder with course rawhide … ewww!
Commentator Marissa weighs in first with her assessment of the pending battle:
Weapons
–
Kratos, War, and Dante all carry formidable blades wherever they go. Dante stays
a cut ahead in Hell with his scythe, originally “borrowed” from Death. War
boasts Chaoseater, a faithful sword that once freed from its fiery prison to
reunite with its master and bring balance back to the universe. Kratos has the
Blades of Chaos/Blades of Athena, twin daggers chained to his wrists that he
maneuvers like violent poetry.
Winner:
War. If you know of another sword embossed with skulls that vomit actual blood I
would just love to hear about it.
Enemies
– Dante
is charged with every imaginable evil as he descends through the nine levels of
Hell. War battles the forces of heaven and hell, all in the name of peace on
Earth. Kratos takes on the gods of Greek mythology, engaging in combat with the
likes of Ares, the original god of war.
Winner:
Dante. Anytime some old person gives you an argument about “the good old days,”
counter his nostalgia with this nugget: no one is sicker than people who lived
during medieval times. The monsters (human and otherwise) of the Inferno are so
beyond anything the modern imagination can drum up that it’s a wonder they don’t
keep this piece of classic literature behind the counter.
Origin
– Dante, of course, comes from the author and protagonist of The Divine Comedy
(Inferno is only part one of this epic poem). War is the second of the Four
Horsemen of the Apocalypse. Kratos is a Spartan and the son of Zeus, which is
pretty much the equivalent of Arnold Schwarzenegger being the second coming of
Christ.
Winner:
Kratos. Dante could never hurt a fly let alone charge through Satan’s nethers,
and while biblical champions like War are exceedingly badass, no one is tougher
than the ancient Greeks.
OVERALL:
Kratos has proved himself on the field of battle through three excellent titles.
Rookies Dante and War seem to have what it takes, but only time (and unrelenting
bloodthirst) will tell.
Now it’s up to Michael and his take …
Motivation
– War is out for revenge. He was betrayed and is a little hurt by it – poor
baby. Dante messed it up and Beatrice is paying a penance for Dante’s
unfaithfulness, so he is acting more out of guilt than anything else. Kratos
died, was brought back, then set up by the other gods to be a puppet, ridiculed
and basically has failed all anger-management programs.
Winner:
Kratos. Come on, he’s been put through the ringer, had everything taken from him
and couldn’t even rest in peace when he died. So with all that rage, you have
the power of a demi-god, and that’s just lethal. He has nothing to lose whereas
both Dante and War do, so Kratos is not afraid of the consequences of failure.
Originality
– All
three owe their hack ‘n slash existence to Diablo (which was top-down, but the
formula was essentially the same), but Kratos brought it all back first. Time
periods aside, this category is basically a wash.
Pound for pound
– Dante is a bit on the slender side (Crusade food sucks and he is prone to
fainting spells – likely as a result of C-rations), who know what War looks like
under that armor and stuff, and Kratos is a pro wrestler on mega steroids. If it
gets in tight and they are pounding away from close proximity, give the nod to
Kratos. Dante is a pole-arm guy, War has guns, and Kratos has those chains, but
the Spartan knows how to rip the head off a titan. Plus Kratos has two games
behind him while both Dante and War are rookies with limited futures.
Winner:
Got to give this one to Kratos. He has the experience.
*
* *
The overall winner? Well, that lays in the hands of gamers, but seems that
Kratos has a hand-up on the competition. Much, though, will depend on what
happens in mid-March when God of War III releases.