Top 10 Games I Like to Play with My Pants Off
Gamers are an intriguing bunch. We have an offbeat sense of humor that no one really gets. We enjoy spending hours playing a game for the ultimate goal of seeing something awesome unravel before our very eyes. We develop strange habits that become a part of our gaming life. Personally, I've always had a deep fondness for staying up late and gaming in my underwear. I know, that's probably not the image you want of me, but it is what it is. I know I'm not the only one who does this. I'm certain there are plenty of you reading this right now thinking, "Damn, he's got a point. Gaming with my pants off is so freaking awesome!"
Admittedly, I don't do it much anymore, but there was a time when I would be sporting my coolest cartoon boxers and playing video games until the wee hours of the night. Looking back at my 20 years as a gamer, I know which games I had the most fun playing completely devoid of pants. Here are the top 10 games I like to play with my pants off!
10. Grand Theft Auto III
While my reasoning behind this pick could easily apply to all modern Grand Theft Auto games, I personally have fond memories of staying up late and playing the heck out of Grand Theft Auto III. I was much younger back then, and I spent many a night gaming in my boxers. Grand Theft Auto III was a great game to do this with because of its massive scope. There was so much to do in the game with an open world to explore. Oftentimes, I started playing while wearing pants, only to find myself entirely pants-less by the end of my play session. These long play periods make most entries in this particular series great "no-pants" material, but speaking from experience, I had a total blast playing Grand Theft Auto III in this comfortable state.
9. Super Mario Bros. 3
Ah, memories. I recall being but a small child when I first played Super Mario Bros. 3 for the Nintendo Entertainment System. In all honesty, I really don't remember if I played this game in my skivvies back then, but I won't entirely discount that possibility, either. That said, now that this classic Mario platformer (and my favorite entry in the retro series) is available on the Wii, you can bet it's a great game that calls for absolutely no clothing restrictions. Super Mario Bros. 3 is the type of game you can fire up on a Friday or Saturday night at one in the morning and play through, from start to finish... wearing nothing but your non-restrictive undergarments.
8. Mario Party
I think one of the games I sunk the most hours into during the Nintendo 64 era was the very first Mario Party. I played the game with friends, family, and by myself. I repeatedly tackled my favorite mini-games while playing against computer opponents. Also, I absolutely adored Mini-Game Island, the game's addictive and increasingly challenging single-player mode. I distinctly recall playing this game all too often before bed. Since I've never been one to feel comfortable wearing pajamas or sweat pants while sleeping, let's just say I was sporting my bedtime best as I played the most rewarding entry in the Mario Party series.
7. The Sims
A lot of us have done it: staying up until five in the morning, playing The Sims, watching as our virtual family lives life. Some of us have just done it lacking any clothing below the waist. I am one of these individuals, and the addictive nature of the gameplay in The Sims makes it great for those nights when you would rather not wear much clothing. There's something really entertaining about watching my Sims walk around at night in pajamas while I wear nothing but a T-shirt, some socks, and my extremely comfortable boxers, knowing all the while that I could never live like they do. I mean, seriously, pajamas?!
6. Paper Mario: The Thousand-Year Door
Once again, I could have easily gone with something more recent, such as Super Paper Mario for the Wii. However, I actually have a pretty funny story about Paper Mario: The Thousand-Year Door. It was my 18th birthday, and my oldest sister gave me a nicely wrapped box. I opened it up, and inside was a copy of this wonderful RPG. At that moment, a very good friend of mine said, "You're going to play that in your underwear, aren't you, David?" For that reason, and because I actually did just that, Paper Mario: The Thousand-Year Door belongs on this list.
5. Conker's Bad Fur Day
For Conker's Bad Fur Day to be excluded from any list with the words "pants off" in the title would be a crime. A crime, I tell you! For me, Conker's Bad Fur Day was pretty much the swan song in the Nintendo 64's lifespan. It was an excellent game with a funny story and incredible 3D platforming gameplay. To top it off, it was a pervy good time! (I am not a pervert!) This is not the type of game you play wearing a suit and tie. It's not the type of game you play wearing casual clothing. No, the only attire that makes sense with Conker's Bad Fur Day is underwear. Anything else would be awkward.
4. Super Meat Boy
Super Meat Boy is the type of game that you love, but it still makes you shout, curse, and toss your controller around. With all of the strangely awesome rage that this game creates within you, there's no way you can play Super Meat Boy with pants on. It's just not very comfortable. Now, I've mostly played Super Meat Boy wearing some comfortable shorts, but I recall my first play session with the game being especially memorable. It was a Saturday night, and I jovially spent a good number of hours playing until four in the morning, completely free of pants. Good times? You bet!
3. Rock Band
Two words: underwear band.
2. No More Heroes 2: Desperate Struggle
Sometimes I think Suda51 made all of his games to be played by gamers wearing nothing but the most comfortable of undergarments. I mean, the games are a total trip, they define the term "video game," and the characters aren't afraid to walk around in revealing clothing. When I think about Travis Touchdown, I imagine him playing video games and watching anime in some dirty, smelly boxer shorts. Now, while I certainly do my laundry (and recommend that all of you do, too), I think Travis is a great example of a gamer in a video game. We should follow his example (at least what I think would be his example), and we should play No More Heroes 2: Desperate Struggle free of any restrictions below the belt.
1. Time Fcuk
Anyone who's ever played Time Fcuk can attest to the fact that the game is a total—well—mind f*ck. From the trippy main character and his constant dialogue, to the crazy puzzle platforming levels, everything about Time Fcuk is pretty unorthodox. Edmund McMillen scored some serious points in the weirdness category with this one. The game and its premise are so strange that they warrant late night play sessions in the dark from gamers who are wearing absolutely nothing but whatever they may wear under their street clothes. Time Fcuk is a game about insanity, and I find no better way to play this title than with an energy drink, a serious lack of sleep, no lights, and nothing but my underwear. Also, messed up hair adds to the overall vibe, so go with that, too.
There's something incredibly liberating about gaming with your pants off. It's not to be a pervert or indecent pig, but wearing as little as possible while playing video games evokes such freedom. I'm certain most of us have done it—I'm just being completely open about it. You now know my top 10 games to play with my pants off. What are yours?