Simpsons Road Rage is not a new title. The
conversion to Game Boy Advance, however, is new. Some things should just be left
alone. The
Simpsons Road Rage for GBA is annoying, jumbled and (if he were dead!!)
would make Matt Groenig roll in his grave.
Seriously, with such a class franchise as the
Simpsons, it’s a shame to see anything less than perfection. I suppose that sets
the bar too high, and creates too much pressure. Still, with the proven track
record of this game on previous platforms, they did not have to reinvent the
wheel, but merely inject some of the same fun into a smaller platform.
Road Rage pits you, and your Simpson Mobile in
various tasks and situations, most of which demand concentration and skill. What
becomes unfair in this offering is that the difficulty is created from the
design, not from the game’s intentions. In other words, it’s hard for the wrong
reasons.
There are several modes from which to choose:
Road Rage, Performance, Sunday Drive, etc.
I started with Sunday drive, as it gives you a
chance to test your skills and get used to the handling of the car. Kind of like
a Training Mode. I THINK the cars look good, but they are so poorly
represented, I am not sure. I drove around in Sunday Drive mode for a long time.
Too long. I learned: the cars do not handle well; the obstacles are more
annoying than fun; the boundaries are inhibiting; the targets and objects have
no real shape or recognizable representation.
Road Rage mode is a challenge in which you drive
back and forth transporting citizens to selected target locales. You get to
chauffer the likes of Mr Skinner, Chief Wiggum, Otto, Apu, Edna Krabappel and
more. The goal is to pick up the person, drive them to their drop spot, then
pick up the next one. It was repetitive and annoying. If you make a wrong turn
or otherwise do something the passenger does not like, they make a face at you.
Wow. Scary. Otherwise, it’s just a low-brow version of
Crazy Taxi. The object
is to make good time, but hitting obstacles get you points as well. Problem is,
the driving is so haywire that hitting a target is too easy– without intention.
You might as well play it blindfolded. Your rewards include: unlocking
more drivers (you start with only the core Simpson clan), more road courses, and
damaged eyesight.
Performance mode is very similar, which includes
having a passenger in your car and doing all of the "exciting" things in the
Road Rage mode– like crashing and bumping. I am not sure why they made this a
separate challenge?? The difference is the objective: keep your passenger
happy and thrilled. Points and bonuses are rewarded based on the exciting antics
you do– such as speeding past Chief Wiggum and collecting various objects.
Mission Mode starts with the task of driving
THROUGH all of the newspaper boxes in Springfield. Apparently, Mr Burns has some
inflammatory things in the paper and Willie wants them gone. There are almost a
dozen such missions. The most insane, for me, was Krusty’s "Circus Training"
stunt. I am not sure when my hands will recover from that one.
The graphics are decent, but I have seen similar
games with much better detail. The obstacles and targets are too difficult to
identify and zero in on. The billboards and other things are illegible, so why
have them? The barriers cannot be traversed, but there is such minimal
definition between passable road and wall, it’s a frustrating lesson every time
you bump into one. It would have been nice to have these barriers more clearly
defined. Instead, it’s like bumper pool with point deduction.
The sound is poor. Little blips and "tinny" car
sounds. The horns and crash noises sound out of place– even with headphones.
The background music was repetitive and not that good to begin with.
More frustrating is– there is no continue or
save. They have passwords, instead. Keep your pencil handy. There are no
cool cut scenes, voices or other such tweaks for us fans. We need these things.
When you make a game based on a franchise such as this, there are expectations
to live up to. Maybe that sets a bar too high, but the previous versions were so
much fun, I have to feel it could be done better. Many GBA games have at least
some attempt at voice, but this made no such effort. Maybe if they do a sequel,
they can redeem this attempt. In the meantime, I will stick with the XBox
version, which fills my craving for Springfield-bashing fun!
Gameplay: 5
Poor handling and not much improvement after hours of play. It never feels
good. Even the roughest games eventually ease up once you get familiar with
limitations and abilities, but I never enjoyed this one. Some of the challenges
were good– in theory, but the execution was too difficult.
Graphics: 6
Looks like Grandpa Abe Simpson worked on this one. The colors and solid
objects blend and blur. There is no good definition between barriers and
drivable road surfaces. Even golf games allow some separation between rough and
fairway. The characters you pick up would not be identifiable if not for their
larger graphic in the upper right corner.
Sound: 5
Sounds like they need some work in the audio lab. I am not sure where these
sounds were sampled from, but I think somewhere a 8 bit game has had its sound
borrowed. Certainly does not live up to the ability of the GBA chip.
Difficulty: Hard
Hard for the wrong reasons. Tough to steer, view and comprehend. Subtle,
intentional maneuvers are difficult if you want to keep good time. Constant
braking and backing-up are more common than successful turning.
Concept: 6
The game is old by platform standards. It’s been out for most other
platforms for over a year. That’s enough time to either improve on the idea, or
make some special, enjoyable changes. Instead, they took a good game and made it
bad. That’s hard to do. It’s not as if they were trying to make a sequel, in
which such shortcomings are more common and expected. How do you take a good
thing and make it worse?
Multiplayer: N/A
This is available, and probably fun,
though I did not try it. You go head to head with another player in a "taxi"
contest. The first to deliver their passenger wins. You can also bash your
opponents and make them lose their cargo– for more fun.
Overall: 5.5
Sorry, but if Mr Burns wants THIS Springfield, he can have it. He’ll get a
vast, sprawling town of poor colors, weird looking objects and noise. This is a
hard game to play, and even harder to continue playing. They took an
excellent game and tweaked it just enough to make it annoying. They left in just
enough to keep you wanting it, but nothing of substance to make you want to come
back. Hopefully, any future attempts on this franchise will actually be fun. In
the words of Bumble Bee Man "No es Bueno!".
