Now that you already used your dead grandmother excuse for the PS4's launch last Friday, it's time to work up another lie for tomorrow's Xbox One launch. And Microsoft has the perfect excuse for you — the Zombie Flu. Below is an official doctor's note signed by Major Nelson himself, excusing you from work, school, or any chore you may have tomorrow so that you can stay home and enjoy your Xbox One.
Entertainment Therapy and Specialist
M.Nelson, M.D., X.B.1To whom it may concern,
Due to the Zombie Flu your employee will not be able to fulfill the scheduled commitment he/she has with you. Because of the severity of this condition I'm prescribing a heavy dose of Xbox One. He needs to destroy zombies.
After a thorough examination, I've concluded that the all-in-one entertainment system is the only cure for the aforementioned condition.
This treatment may take anywhere from 1-3 days to work and will require years of accumulating achievements thereafter. If the patient is disrupted with work, I will have to double the prescribed amount of Xbox One.
If used effectively, Xbox One can help relieve the patient's entertainment deprivation and will have an increased state of happiness at all times.
Refill ________
Signature ______________________
*Please be advised that there may be some side effects. These include elevated Gamerscore and swollen ego. They are to be expected and will contribute to the life-long healing process.
If you head over to the actual Xbox site, you can actually customize the doctor's note and email it to whoever you want. Hey, you paid $500 for this console, you better enjoy it on launch day.
