FBI Targets Xbox Live and Second Life as Potential Gang Havens

Have you ever played a video game online with your friends? Did that game featured some rudimentary chat technology, letting you swap messages or even voice chat? Sure, you thought calling your buddy an assclown while teabagging his corpse was all good fun, but did you know GANGS ARE USING VIDEO GAMES TO PLAN THEIR GANG STUFFS?

If you don't believe me, check out the FBI's latest anti-gang handbook (pages 40 and 41), which highlights both Xbox and Second Life as potential sources of gang activity, alongside more tradtional social media channels such as Facebook and Twitter, which according to the document "allow tens of thousands of gang members to easily communicate, recruit, and form new gang alliances nationwide and worldwide."

I honestly have to wonder if anyone from the FBI has actually played Second Life, because the thing is really just one gigantic disgusting sex chatroom, complete with horrifying fetishistic avatars and various sex "devices" which I pray do not exist in the real world. I'm not sure if members of the Black Guerilla Family are known for dressing up as Star Trek characters and having fantasy sex with their detatchable horse penises (this is barely an exaggeration), though even if they are, that seems like less time they're spending killing people and doing drugs…

I think the FBI is looking at this all long. Video games placate us! Buy every gang member an Xbox 360 and a copy of Modern Warfare 3, and I bet street crime rates will drop overnight. At least until they get that first red ring of death… then there'll be hell to pay.

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