UTV True Games, an Austin, Texas-based developer of multiplayer online games, has come forward to accept responsibility for the mysterious mass bird and fish deaths in Arkansas and Louisiana.
“Our development team was working overtime in preparation for Closed Beta at the end of January, and one of our designers left for lunch without closing out the Contagion spell in Hell,” said Creative Director of Faxion, Mike Madden. “We are very sorry and that designer has since been confined to a windowless conference room and forced to update documentation.”
“Moving forward,” an official statement said, “UTV True Games has created a policy that will prevent this type of accident from occurring and are apologetic to the citizens of Arkansas, and have offered to relocate thousands of valuable but unwanted grackles and deer from the Austin area to Beebe, Arkansas and Labarre, Louisiana as a peace offering for the areas’ loss of precious fowl.”
Federal authorities have not announced whether the maximum penalty of death will be carried out in the slain animals’ honor.
