Who woulda thought that a Robert Pattinson, a girl who can't show an emotion other than 'wounded', and a guy that proves you don't have to act if you have muscles and a tan would win so many Academy Awards… what? They didn't win Academy Awards? They won Teen Choice awards? Hahahahahahahahahaha…
What the f*ck do teens know? This is the age group responsible for the rise of Justin Bieber and Kristen Stewart, so forgive me if I don't think too highly of their opinions. Nevertheless, I'll report on their meaningless opinions, for at one time I was a teen. And while I was never the type of annoying teen that actually gave a sh*t about the teen choice awards, I did have a lot of opinions.
So last night, The Twilight Saga took home The Ultimate Choice award over The Avengers and The Hunger Games. That was obviously the best of the three movies. K-Stew Kristen Stewart, R-Patz Robert Pattinson, derpfaceMcGee Taylor Lautner were there in person to receive the highlight of their careers, and they had tons of teen girls screaming when they gave their surboard awards (because those are totes-def in right now) to audience members.
Other awards for The Twilight Saga were Choice Movie: Romance for Breaking Dawn – Part 1 and Choice Movie Actress: Romance for Kristen Stewart. The Twilight Saga has now won a total of 41 Teen Choice Awards, which brings me to 41 times I've contemplated suicide. And it's not even because I dislike the movies. I've read the books and found them entertaining, and the movies do a fair job of recreating that. What annoys me is how these movies are viewed — as the greatest movies ever made. Oh, and Kristen Stewart and Sharkboy suck… but I'm sure he's nice in real life. Her? Not so much.
To show how awful teens' opinions (at least teens who care about the Teen Choice Awards) are, Taylor Lautner won Choice Movie Actor: Action for Abduction. You read that correctly.
You can follow Movies and Culture Editor Lance Liebl on Twitter @Lance_GZ
[Source: Next Movie]
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