We've got Final Fantasy XV receiving great reviews, a special presentation for fans of the series, and even talks of what's coming in the new DLC including the return of a classic Final Fantasy villain. But you know what we don't have? A new Final Fantasy porno… until now.
That's right, the studio you all know but pretend not to, Brazzers, has already fired out a Final Fantasy 15 porn parody. In fact, the title looks great! They even created a custom logo with an artistic drawing of porn star Nikki Benz. It's too bad quality and class is thrown out the window as soon as the play button is hit, though, but isn't that what we expected?
Right as the first scene unzips, we learn that Sean Lawless's car has broken down and that he needs the help of a mechanic. Good thing there's a hot mechanic girl to parody in Final Fantasy 15!
From Brazzers official summary (Click at your own risk, NSFW):
Nikki Benz comes out and inspects Mr. Lawless’s car. Ms. Benz says how she’d hate to charge him for the damage but that she has to keep her business afloat. Sean figures Nikki’s teasing him with her huge [writers note: Materia…Let's go with materia] so that he’s willing to pay any price she throws at him. But when a monstrous troll appears, Nikki fights off the creature. Busty Nikki Benz soon realizes she still has another monster to tame—Sean’s big-
Alright, you get the picture. We don't want to blow the whole film for you. But what's really bothersome is this: Final Fantasy 15 is all about handsome, well-dressed dudes with great hair going on a road trip in their totally slick ride. Meanwhile in this parody. the slick ride looks like a crappy van, Nikki's hair is the wrong color, and don't get us started on Sean! (No really, please don't get Sean started, we can't talk about that on GameZone).
Does that look like a designer leather jacket? Or sweet kicks? What kind of hair gel does he use to achieve that look? Really Sean, a cloth peacoat? I know it's going to be on the ground is less than 5 minutes but come on! Alright, but if she still charges you after, it's because you look nothing like Prince Noctis.
[via Kotaku]
