This week’s downloadable Nintendo poop 4/5/2012

Seeing as how Rock Band and Guitar Hero have, more or less, run their course in the music/rhythm genre (save for the forthcoming Rock Band Blitz), 505 Games and the development team at Zivix have decided to give the genre a try with their own little piece of innovation, JAM Live Music Arcade.  Rather than just being another simulation where you simply pretend to be a rock star, the game instead focuses on the mixing tools involved, and challenges you to master them to a song list consisting of 20+ tunes.  We’ll admit, the idea is quite sound.  Unfortunately, the execution is about as likable as David Lee Roth in a therapy session.

The main mode you’ll probably want to tinker with is Jam mode.  Here, you’ll have access to what looks like a huge soundboard, where you can switch across five different instrument tracks, dropping and remixing them however you choose.  Doing this, layering them and remixing them, has its own little sense of appeal, as you can really put together some twisted stuff.  Unfortunately, the game comes up short in its song list, with only a couple of popular tunes really standing out amidst the alternative fluff.  Your favorites here will probably be Modest Mouse’s “Float On”, Fall Out Boy’s “Sugar We’re Going Down” and anything by Fatboy Slim.  And, since there’s no DLC offered here, that’s…about it.

While mixing the tunes is pretty genuine, you’re limited on what you can really do with it.  True, they sound great once you get the right tone nailed down, but the game completely lacks any sort of option to share them with your friends.  You can play them in a local room, but that’s it, as the game has zero online connectivity.  You can’t even challenge one another to make the best mixes available.  That makes no sense, even for a budget-priced game.

But probably the most inexcusable part of the package is the Arcade mode.  It’s one thing to challenge a player to move from track to track and hit certain buttons to keep the rhythm going, as Harmonix is doing with Rock Band Blitz.  However, what JAM Live Music Arcade demands you do is continuously move around all five tracks and hit all the buttons.  Sure, true music masters can do it, but, sadly, they won’t have any fun with it.  It’s an exercise in futility, as it lacks balance or any kind of cohesive training system to make you the best at it.  It’s not a goal you should have anyway, considering the jumbled system that’s at work here.

JAM Live Music Arcade can be controlled using either a routine Xbox 360/PS3 pad or your plug-in guitar controller.  While it’s nice to blow the dust off that thing and put it to work again, the gameplay is even more confusing with it, as there are functions both when you strum upward and downward.  The buttons react fine enough, but trying to move from track to track is more of a work in progress than it needs to be.  Again, it’s like guiding Roth through therapy – that is, if he’ll stop drinking long enough to comprehend what you’re saying.

Had 505 and Zivix lightened up on the control scheme and offered some sort of online sharing system, JAM Live Music Arcade could’ve stood a chance at being the next big rock party.  Instead, it feels like you’re running a music business simulation without having any genuine fun.  Potential mix masters may like it for a few hours or so, but after that, you’ll be longing to get back in touch with an audience.  This show is over.

All right, let's see what we've got here. Hmm … After putting a bit of thought into it, I have to say that this week's downloadable offerings courtesy of Nintendo are pretty interesting. It's odd, because they're not at insane levels of awesomeness as they've been in recent memory, but they're not terrible like they were last year. Scope out the new additions to the Big N's digital library right here.

On WiiWare we've got TNT Racers, which I personally think looks kind of fun. The cartoony racer features 12 tracks, 45 challenges, 12 power-ups, and both local and online multiplayer for up to four players. This one's priced at 1,000 Wii Points, and I may just shell out the cash for it.

Penguin Patrol hits DSiWare this week, and it sports a price tag of 200 DSi Points ($1.99 on the 3DS). Escape different grid-based levels before the ice below your character cracks. The game features 75 puzzles and looks kind of cool.

Last, we've got Colors! 3D for $6.99. This is more of an app than an actual game, but if you like drawing and want to mess around by sketching on the 3DS, it might be for you. It certainly looks promising.

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