Competing with Crooked Arrows and Darling Companion for two of the worst movies and plots of all-time, someone decided there should be a movie where people travel back in time to the Civil War with an army of Frankensteins. I sh*t you not. And the title is Army of Frankensteins. Embracing itself as one of the worst things to ever exist on this planet — and I've seen a video of a woman birthing a squid — the Facebook page for this movie has quotes of people's reactions to the trailer. One says "Dope" and the rest are pretty much how any normal person would respond. The tagline for the film is "Lincoln did not free the slaves alone." That's a mighty high bar you're aiming for…
The plot outline is as ridiculous as you might expect from a movie titled Army of Frankensteins:
After a failed attempt to propose to his girfriend, Alan Jones is beaten to within an inch of his life by a street gang and taken to a mysterious lab where Dr. Tanner Finski and his kid genius assistant perform horrible experiments on him hoping to re-animate a Frankenstein. The experiments lead to a hole being ripped in space and time, manifesting an Army of Frankensteins from hundreds of parallel universes and sending them all back to the 19th century, directly into the heart of a bloody battle between the North and South.
History will never be the same.
You know what won't ever be the same? My respect of films that take place during the Civil War. Mel Brooks' Young Frankenstein has the tone of Schindler's List when compared to this. I get that it's supposed to be bad, but what makes bad films so great is that they tried to be good. Does that make any sense? Below is the trailer for this movie noun. You can learn more about it at armyoffrankensteins.com.
You can follow Senior Editor Lance Liebl on Twitter @Lance_GZ. He likes talking sports, video games, movies, and the stupidity of celebrities. Email at [email protected]
