Ever see something in real life that you can't believe actually exists? Like, something so bizarre or offensive or weird? Life is full of things like that – things that should only belong in Grand Theft Auto V. I think it might be time to blame real-life for some of the things we see in video games instead of the other way around.
The D-bag that tried to recreate GTA V
A good rule of thumb is that if you can do it in Grand Theft Auto V, it's not okay to do in real life. That goes for golf too. So what this guy did? Not okay.
Jack Thompson
Jack Thompson is so ridiculous that he's almost a parody of himself at this point. The disbarred lawyer from South Florida brings up the bible and Christianity on a regular basis while attacking and insulting gamers. I have recently been harassed in a string of emails by this wonderfully kind gentleman, so from firsthand experience, I can vouch that someone like this shouldn't exist in real life. Only the sadistically creative minds at Rockstar could create such a hateful character.
So I propose they put him in the game as DLC. Name him Thompson Jack, or Jackson Thomp. Tom Jackson! Yes!
Miley Cyrus because… well… you see what she's like
Doesn't this Miley Cyrus circus seem like it was crafted by Rockstar? A Disney channel sweetheart with a creepy trying-to-still-be-cool dad that grows up, takes to drugs, cuts her hair, licks a hammer, grinds on Beetlejuice, uses black people as props, Twerks way too much, tries too hard to show she's not “Disney” anymore, and then this happens.
This.
THIS.
This should only be in GTA 5 — a game where I expect to see gross, shocking things.
Kanye West
F*ck Kanye West. F*ck his ego. 'Nuff said.
But his music is pretty good, so it'll fit right in with the rest of the GTA V soundtrack.
Westboro Baptist Church
This group of fanatical a**holes pickets funerals and insults people “in the name of God.” They're pure evil. Every time I think they've reached the bottom of the cesspool of humanity, they seem to outdo themselves. They preach nothing but hate.
But even worse, they do parody songs to support their hate. And those songs a're not good. There's no musical talent in any of these people. I won't post any of these musical atrocities, but if you're reading this, you're obviously on the Internet — they should be pretty easy for you to find.
This is the perfect organization to take down in GTA V. In real life, you're better off just ignoring them.
You can follow Senior Editor Lance Liebl on Twitter @Lance_GZ. He likes talking sports, video games, movies, and the stupidity of celebrities. Email at [email protected]
