7 ways Disney can fix Star Wars

No comic relief

Jar Jar Binks was there to make fart jokes and provide slapstick comedy. R2-D2 was beating droids by having them slip on oil he shot out. Natalie Portman and Hayden Christiansen were attempting to act. These are the ways in which Episodes I through III tried to provide comedy and failed.

The original trilogy didn’t have characters specifically there for comedy. The funny lines or moments were shared by the entire cast. There was nothing in the script meant to induce laughter; it just happened naturally. Either the actors delivered it a certain way or something was just so awesome in the heat of the moment that it had comedic value to it. We didn’t need someone’s face going numb after getting caught in a Pod Racer beam.

Disney needs to get Star Wars away from comedic roles, and instead have a witty, well-written script provide the laughs organically.

Get your sh*t together in marketing

This one needs some explaining. I liked Disney’s John Carter. What I didn’t like is how they marketed it. Even though it was a fun movie, no one gave it a chance, and that’s on Disney. Star Wars won’t have the problem of being unknown like John Carter was, but it does face numerous hurdles that marketing can help overcome.

First off, people are going to be pessimistic about new Star Wars movies, especially after the last three. Marketing, if done right, can help fans see that they won’t get “Lucas tunnel-vision” and continue to destroy the legacy of Star Wars. Secondly, marketing is going to play a big role in how the movie is perceived and what audience it is intended for. The script will have to walk a fine line of providing what fans of the original trilogy feel they deserve all while introducing Star Wars to a younger generation.

It won’t be easy, but marketing will play a crucial role.

Don’t let George Lucas anywhere near a script

For all that is holy in the world, don’t let George Lucas anywhere near a script. Don’t let him near the script writers. Hell, don’t even let him in the same building as where they’re writing the script for Episode VII. I love George Lucas for what he gave us with the original trilogy, but I hate him for what he’s done to it.

There are people out there that can revive Star Wars and make it great. J.J. Abrams did it with Star Trek, effectively re-casting the original crew of the Enterprise to perfection. New sci-fi shows and stories pop up all the time that blow people’s minds. Joss Whedon had a cult hit with Firefly and would probably do an amazing job with Star Wars.

The point is: a fresh perspective on the Star Wars universe is needed. George Lucas is too attached to it to be objective anymore. So give him a title like “creative consultant” and let other people handle the details.

Don’t make it just about Jedi

Episodes I, II and III were Jedi overload. It was just lightsabers everywhere. I understand that a trilogy about how we get from Anakin to Darth Vader would have more Jedi than usual, but outside of Jar Jar, C-3PO, R2-D2 and Padme, there were no characters of note that didn’t use a lightsaber.

The original trilogy features only three characters that used lightsabers: Luke Skywalker, Obi-Wan Kenobi and Darth Vader. The story was driven by non-Jedi. Han Solo, Princess Leia, Chewbacca, Lando Calrissian and Boba Fett are among the most popular Star Wars characters. The Jedi and the Force seemed a lot cooler and more special when we didn’t see it every scene. When everyone wields a lightsaber, it kind of loses its mystique.

Star Wars needs to get back to its roots. Get back to characters and get away from huge lightsaber battles. In other words, we need more blasters. Han Solo didn’t need a lightsaber. “Hokey religions and ancient weapons are no match for a good blaster at your side, kid.”

In conclusion…

I'm holding out that Disney taking over Star Wars is a good thing. They've done nothing to make me think that they can't provide the means to make Star Wars movies great again. Re-casting iconic roles would be mighty difficult, so it's better to go with a new story. Return Star Wars to its roots. Disney can do it. They've done it before. Oh, and one last request: make sure one of Nathan Fillion or Joseph Gordon-Levitt are in it.

You can follow Movies and Culture Editor Lance Liebl on Twitter @Lance_GZ. He likes talking sports, video games, and the stupidity of celebrities. Email at LLiebl@GameZone.com

Everyone is writing their ideas for the new Star Wars trilogy. There’s rumors that it’ll pick up with a middle-aged Luke or that it will be an entirely original story. Regardless of what you think of Disney acquiring Star Wars, they’ve done well restoring Marvel and The Muppets to greatness. Right now, we have nothing but hope — hope that they can make Star Wars great again. Here are seven ways I think Disney can fix — and not further screw up — Star Wars.

Less CG/Real sets

It’s not a secret that George Lucas went CG crazy with Episodes I through III. Entire scenes were nothing but CG. I struggle to think of scenes that were filmed in in real environments. Maybe when they’re on Tatooine? That’s not a good thing. Instead of filming on-location, Lucas would just computerize the environment? Say good bye to the use of puppets and practical effects, as well. The technology was there for Lucas to just hire a team of computer animators and say “to hell with puppets.”

With Disney now owning the property, I can see them taking Star Wars the Lone Ranger or Pirates of the Caribbean route. Sure, there will be CG for some characters, but these are films that are predominantly shot in real environments instead of a green screen set. Let’s get back to an authentic, natural feel.

New characters

The rumors of Episode VII picking up with Luke Skywalker as a middle-aged man in his 30s or 40s worry me. Now don’t get me wrong, Mark Hamill is a very talented man, but I really don’t want to see him try to be a middle-aged Luke. He’s more like Grandpa Luke. What I’m trying to say is: he’s not in the best of shape. Even scarier than that is the thought of Carrie Fisher trying to be Princess Leia again. Little question just for fun: is it more likely that Harrison Ford reprise his role of Han Solo or Rick Deckard from Blade Runner?

There are also reports of Episode VII being an original story, which I think would be much better. Instead of seeing the sad state of characters we love — or even worse, having those characters be recast with new actors — it would be better to have a whole original story with a brand new cast of characters. If there’s going to be a new three or four films, why limit yourself to characters already established?

Let’s get a new cast of characters to bring in a new era of Star Wars. Someone out there has to have some good characters up their sleeve that would be perfect.

F**k Midi-chlorians

Two things ruined Lucas’ new trilogy right off the bat for me: Jar Jar Binks and Midi-chlorians. Remember when the Force was this mystical thing? A universal and cosmic energy that surrounds us, penetrates us and binds the galaxy together? Well Lucas ruined that when he made the Force a measurable unit of chemical compounds able to be analyzed with a microscope.

What the f**k.

How do they fix it? Hell if I know. I think I’d just act like Episodes I through III never happened. But we can’t do that now, can we? Regardless, one of Disney’s primary goals should be to return the mystique, wonder and danger to the Force. It should be magical, not scientific. After all, in Episode IV, Ben Kenobi is referred to as a wizard.