Many of this year’s best films are likely to become all-time classics. That said, if we’re being perfectly honest, there were also a whole lot terrible movies this year. Narrowing down a list of the most offensively bad films was almost more challenging than determining the year’s best. On top of that, many highly anticipated films turned out to be pretty disappointing. Here we call out those films that should be cautionary tales for future film projects and a warning to all those viewers renting or buying in the future.
The Worst Movies of 2012
1 – The Apparition
At the very least, The Apparition is a nigh unwatchable non-starter of a horror movie. Even worse, though, this film was flat-out false advertising. The trailer used clips from the first five minutes to create a much more promising “ghost hunter” concept. The final film was the very worst of overdone domestic horror, bad acting, and pathetic attempts at scares.
(Read our The Apparition review)
2 – Branded
Rarely has a movie suddenly and completely dropped off in quality the way Branded does. What begins as a compelling exploration of the worst aspects of modern society and advertising goes off the deep end in every way. Preposterous plot twists, sudden bad acting, and the worst CG effects we’ve ever seen in a theater made for a film that seemed to just give up halfway through. If only it gave us some kind of warning.
3 – Resident Evil: Retribution
Is it any surprise that the Resident Evil movie series continues to be terrible film after film? Director Paul W.S. Anderson and his wife/leading lady Milla Jovovich seem content to make one crappy Resident Evil after another as long as they can work together and keep making money. Good for them, but not so much for the audience. There have been worse RE films so far, but that doesn’t make this one good by any stretch.
(Read our Resident Evil: Retribution 3D review)
4 – Silent Hill: Revelation 3D
A Silent Hill sequel was an opportunity to right the wrongs of the original, which stumbled far too often but got enough right to be exciting. Revelation doesn’t bother with that, though, instead opting to continue the plot that dragged down the previous film and run the concept into the ground even further. The worst part is that we can see the series continuing down this terrible path in a Resident Evil-esque string of sequels.
(Read our Silent Hill: Revelation 3D review)
5 – The Campaign
We’re still baffled that the combination of Zach Galifianakis and Will Ferrell resulted in something so completely unfunny. It’s especially bad when this barely political satire didn’t have a single genuine character in it. A Judd Apatow film can survive without being too funny because there’s usually some relatable characters. The Campaign is more like an out-of-control Saturday Night Live skit stretched out to movie length.
(Read our The Campaign review)
The Most Disappointing Films of 2012
1 – Prometheus
First Prometheus was a prequel to Alien, then it wasn’t, then the movie finally came out and it totally was. That indecisiveness should have been the first indication that something wasn’t quite right with Ridley Scott’s return to sci-fi. So much potential for greatness was squandered with characters that constantly made baffling decisions and themes that don’t mesh well with dark sci-fi. No amount of brilliant Michael Fassbender or stunning set design could save it from disappointment.
2 – Brave
Pixar made an average movie and it wasn’t called Cars. Brave simply doesn’t have the same ambitions that their past work had. Visual splendor aside, Brave just wasn’t very creative. It was a Disney-esque tale with a reluctant princess and a Dreamworks sense of humor. Brave isn’t really a bad movie, but Pixar operates on a different level. Compared to Ratatouille, Wall-E, and Up!, Brave is merely a typical family film.
3 – Taken 2
The original Taken was a surprisingly great movie. That said, we don’t think anyone had huge expectations for a sequel. The bottom line is that it was an excuse for Liam Neeson to reprise his role as an incredible badass. Presumably the creators would simply put him in a new situation where he could say intense lines and deliver painful revenge. Instead we got something bordering on comedy. Liam Neeson showed his age and his Taken family showed their incompetence. The bad guys more or less rolled over and died.
4 – Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter
Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter provides every hint of its potential greatness right in the title. It’s a shame then that somewhere along the line the wires got crossed and the creators thought they were actually filming Steven Spielberg’s Lincoln. Oppressively self-serious and heavy-handed, Vampire Hunter lacks the humor and light-hearted attitude it needed to be entertaining.
(Read our Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter review)
5 – Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance
Most people don’t even know why we thought this one may have been great, so hear us out. Nicolas Cage teamed up with the pair that brought us Crank, Crank 2, and Gamer, three manic and hilariously insane films. Ghost Rider may have sucked in the past, but this one seemed like a match made in awesomely crazy town. Imagine the disappointment when it barely amounted to anything other than insanely boring.
(Read our Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance review)
