Gears of War Ultimate Edition Beta disappoints

King of the Hill still represents the crux of Gears of War multiplayer, whether in this Ultimate Edition or otherwise. The mode allows those masculine, muscle bound soldiers and their equally broad shouldered foes, the Locusts, to fire shotguns at one another – point blank – in a bizarre, awkwardly formed edition of Russian roulette. It forces everyone into the circle to play.

That has always been Gears of War. No honor, all guts. Literal guts, carcases splattered and ripped open by a chainsaw bayonet, now in 60fps. Oh, and in 1080p. Never mind Gears is too fast at an unnecessary 60. Epic's original work is better suited to 30fps, a more lumbering and heavy feel which suits COG members wearing steel toed, size 20 boots. Same thing happened to Halo in its own touched-up edition.

What makes this “Ultimate” is unclear. A higher spread of resolution and frame rates is apparently all it takes anymore. Any tweaks are otherwise negligible to anyone outside of die-hard circles.

Let us not forget that unlike Halo and Halo 2 remastered, the first Gears remains fully online and playable and could continue to be as Xbox One gains backwards compatibility. Why this edition is necessary should call into question this entire sub-genre of remakes, but it's obviously because names (like Gears of War) and numbers (such as mostly context-less 1080p) sell.

All three Gears – ignoring Judgment – can be had for $40 in a packaged trilogy on Xbox 360. Microsoft wants $40 for this alone. Never mind the sheer oddity in releasing only one Gears of War game remastered a year or so after an entire suite of bundled Halos. A value this is not, but it makes a nice placeholder for another empty, Gears-less holiday season if you're Microsoft. Chances are though you're not Microsoft.

Regardless, the beta is boring. It's already old. It's clumsy. Not new. Many things have come and gone since the initial release of Gears of War in November, 2006. Mortal Kombat is gorier, Halo is more fluid, and Uncharted's third-person multiplayer treasure hunt more fun.

One other mode is offered, Team Deathmatch, which is effectively the same as King of the Hill. Gears of War could be about soldiers headbutting one another like rams and it would be more exciting than the goofy shotgun exchanges. If someone snipes, they will be found. By a shotgun. If another person uses the pithy Lancer, they will lose. To a shotgun. Shotgun, shotgun, shotgun. Err, sorry. Thrasher, Thrasher, Thrasher; how utterly banal.

Gears of War is messy. Messy is what the series does best. Pacing, too, only not in an attempt to mold the once revolutionary (ignoring the N64's Winback) duck & cover systems to traditional deathmatch forms. Comparatively, Gears is not interesting in this space. Cooperatively or alone, the steroidal-injected veins flowing under Gears' skin better suits a narrative – namely the planet Sera's saga of an invasive species at war against men, maybe a woman or two as well. But not here, not in multiplayer. Men and "things" just shoot one another aimlessly. With shotguns.

For some reason, players are being asked to playtest a beta for a video game which is still functional elsewhere. Is that a first? It must be. The debacle over Master Chief Collection must have Microsoft running scared.

There are a few things to unlock. “Play now!” totes the menus, settling on specific times to earn new skins in the final version. Anyone who believes these betas are anything other than commercials is misled. Playable commercials, but still. Gears is archaic and the beta shows how unnecessary such a release is.