The Doctor

Note: The following is editorial content not meant to be taken seriously. AMN or PSP Advanced did not contact a real psychiatrist or doctor about the characters of Death Jr., this is purely for amusement.

Death Jr. Week is going along swimmingly and we here at PSP Advanced couldn’t resist to tell all about the wacky characters. While we chuckle at the character concept of the gadget inventing, conjoined twins Smith and Wesson, we couldn’t help but think there was a deeper meaning. Using the great learning tool known as the Internet, we contacted a psychiatrist who could tell us all about the characters psyche and give us deeper insight. His credentials were as impressive as his name. Dr. Emil Von Viertisch is a learned man. Getting diplomas from not only “Podunk University”, he graduated with top honors at “Standford” which he assures was a typo when Sanford printed it out. Knowing we were in good hands, the interviewer, Ryan, set off to delve into the deeper meanings of the game.

PSP Advanced: Good afternoon Doctor, nice of you to spend some time with us. I know this is an unusual thing for you to be discussing, video games, so just do your best.

Dr. Emil Von Viertisch: Oh, you are so velcome! It is a pleasure to know that young minds are wanting to know more about the minds wonderful functions! Please, call me Emil.

PSPA: Ok Emil. Diving in. The main character, Death Jr., Dj for short, what comes to your mind when you see his picture. Do you want his official description?

Doctor: No! That will only pollute my judgment. I must get to know him without really knowing him. I see he has daddy issues, yes? He doesn’t have a happy home life I can see that. Troubling.

PSPA: Well, you see Emil, his dad is the Grim Reaper. I imagine that things aren’t always sunshine and morning dew at his house. Anyone who has heard of the game should know that… Anyway, moving on. Pandora, she has to open locked things. It gets everyone in trouble, what can you tell us about her?

Doctor: Ah yes, unlockitis very common among people named Pandora. You see, there is an ancient myth about this. It all started with a man…. No, that’s not it…. It was about a horse and an onion…. No, ah well, you shouldn’t have to know what I am talking about, I’m a genius. All you have to know is that this little girl will soon unlock every door known to mankind if she does not get my help, where can I reach her at?

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PSPA: Remember we are talking about video games? She doesn’t exist, we are just trying to figure out where these characters are coming from to better understand the game, there is no real problem. Forget it, let’s talk about The Seep. I’m looking forward to what you have to say about him.

Doctor: He looks like a well adjusted boy.

PSPA: Are you serious? He lives in a vat and has no limbs. You can’t be serious.

Doctor: I am serious and how dare you question someone with more education then years you have been alive! If you aren’t careful, that Stigmartha will take your spot as a writer because of your lip.

PSPA: Errrr…. You do bring up a good point, Stigmartha is the brainy kid of the bunch when it comes to writing school assigments. Although, her condition would prevent her from working under the high stress.

Doctor: Nonsense, nothing a band-aid can’t take care of, haven’t you heard of First-Aid? Bleeding from the hands is nothing to be worried over, it happens all the time.

PSPA: I’m beginning to think this was a bad idea… Ok, let’s get this over with, about Smith and Wesson, they like to invent things.

Doctor: It goes to show that two heads are truly better than one! See, I’m smart and funny. They are two smart cookies, or are they one? It is hard to say but they do share a brain and that is my specialty. I can tell they want to be alone but it would be hard for them to separate.

PSPA: It would be impossible for them to separate Doctor, they are conjoined. Alright, we are now at the last main character, Dead Guppy and I think the official description sums him up nicely, “Dead guppy is the wild one of the bunch. Like James Dean, he doesn’t need anything specific to rebel against, so long as he can rebel. He’s a fighter and a lover. And, oh yeah, he’s dead!” That is from the official character rap sheet about Death Jr. what can you add Doctor?

Doctor: Ah yes, I used to room with my dear Guppy in college, he really was the life of the party. Too bad he wanted to run away with the circus that one year, I missed him. WHY DID YOU LEAVE? WHY? WHY? WHY?

PSPA: It seems the Doctor is having a few issues of his own. I think we’ll have to leave it at that. I hope his “insights” were helpful. Until next time…. Oh, who am I kidding?