5) It’s your birthright
When the world calls and asks if you’re free to save it from demonic annihilation, you don’t take a rain check because your family wants you to play Scrabble instead. Whenever your loved ones doubt your commitment to Diablo III, just tell them it’s your heroic birthright.
Who else can rekindle the culture and lifestyle of the Barbarians, giving them a reason to fight? What other prodigy can advance the art of magic or restore balance to the land? This is your purpose in Diablo… and it’s a much better duty than vacuuming the carpet, we can promise you that.
4) You’re catching up on some reading
There’s Shakespeare, and then there’s the “epic storyline” of Diablo III. If you’ve had enough of murderous flings between thirteen-year-olds who think they’re in love, then tell your family tales of the great war between good and evil in Diablo. The poor people of Sanctuary have survived through cataclysmic events and countless tragedies, and heroes must rise again to save the world from indescribable horrors.
You could expand your mind by reading George R. R. Martin’s A Song of Ice and Fire or J. R. R. Tolkien’s The Lord of the Rings, but what good is reading about an epic story when you could help write one through your actions? Think of it as year-long training in fantasy for when you write that best-selling novel that’ll make you and your whole family rich.
3) All your friends are doing it
Whether you have three friends or three million, you’re pretty much covered with this one. Both Blizzard and Amazon experienced a record high number of preorders for Diablo III, so chances are at least half the neighborhood is glued to their computer screens right now.
But if your loved ones don’t understand your obsession, don’t berate them — thank them. After all, someone has to do the laundry, make dinner, and most importantly, pay the electric and Internet bills.
2) You’ve only been waiting 12 years
The next time your loved ones complain that you’re spending too much time at the computer and not enough time helping around the house, just remind them of the little things. Like how your kid whined for two months until Christmas to get that bike, or your spouse got angry because you were 15 minutes late to the altar. What’s 15 minutes compared to 12 years?
Do you know what you can accomplish in 12 years? A whole lot more than you’ve accomplished since you started playing Diablo, but don’t let them know that.
Let’s face it. You took off work because you stayed up all night and morning playing Diablo III on launch day. You’re already addicted, but you can’t stay home all week because sooner or later your boss is going to find your incessant Facebook updates, figure out who this “Diablo” person is, and learn that you don’t have a sick uncle named Deckard Cain.
Your only choice is to rush home after work and head straight for the computer, but wait … you have that spouse… and those children… and they’re not going to like that. How do you fool them into thinking Diablo III is as good for them as it is good for you? Give them any of these five excuses, and you’ll be taking your dinner with demons.
1) You’re really making money
Thanks to the Auction House, you can actually earn real-world money by selling the goods you acquire in Diablo III. That means you can talk about gaming as if it were a second job. Just tell your loved ones you’re saving up to buy them a nice steakhouse dinner or a trip to Disneyland for little Johnny, and they’ll look at that game box like it’s their ticket to the good life.
Of course, the Auction House can work multiple ways, so you can buy items with your extra cash, too. Just don’t go promising your family lobster when you suddenly can’t afford to splurge on dinner at the local Burger King. They’re gullible, not stupid.
