H1Z1 Early Access First Impressions: Nice guys finish dead

I’ll never forget you, DocMB. Yesterday, or I guess today, I was up until two-thirty in the morning playing Sony Online Entertainment’s post-apocalyptic, survival MMO, H1Z1. It’s that addictive.

And you know what I learned in my five-or-so hours playing the game? People are a**holes. There’s a reason I referred to it plainly as a survival MMO and not a zombie survival; that’s because I spent more time trying to survive from other people. Yes, there are zombies in H1Z1, and they are a nuisance, but the real threat is from the other players, many of which I found to be completely obnoxious.

But the fact that I was killed at the hands of players in every single one of my playthroughs isn’t what annoys me about H1Z1. It’s the complete lack of immersion caused by folks continuously shouting the most ridiculous things into their microphone when around other players. When I was alone, I absolutely loved H1Z1. The zombies, the environment, the eerie sound effects, the haunting soundtrack — it all makes for a great zombie-survival experience. And then you add the other players, and it sadly goes down hill. In my first few play throughs, experiences like a moron continuously shouting “WHOOO! WILD PLANET” while swinging a machete at anyone who moved, or someone blatantly shooting arrows at me while telling me he “just wants to be my friend,” immediately put me off. But I stuck with it.

It wasn’t until my third playthrough that I finally began having fun with the game. That’s because I met a man by the name of DocMB. He taught me the ropes. Taught me how to scavenge for supplies, forage for blackberries, build my first bow and arrows. He taught me how to survive in this harsh world. He taught me that a map exists thanks to the community creating one made up from the fragments found throughout the in-game world. He was my mentor, and he was on his way to meet up with his friend.

So off we went, me and DocMB, in search for his friend. Along the way, we actually had some pretty fun moments, including one where we heard a police siren slowly growing louder only to turn around and see a player speeding towards us. We jumped out of the way and hid in a building, using only hand signals for communication as to not draw attention to ourselves from a wandering band of looters. Once past us, we continued on our way and eventually met up with his buddy who was wielding a very impressive shotgun. I felt safe.

And then we met more people. And the obnoxiousness continued. DocMB’s friend spoke with the accent, and because this is an online game, you can expect the sort of things that were said. Racist, obnoxious, immature — you name it. “There’s a crazy Russian on the roof,” they shouted. “Shoot the Russian son of a b*tch.” Sure, maybe in a movie you’d hear that last line, but not in the way these kids were saying it. I’ll admit, the fight between us and another group was fun, especially when a wandering horde of zombies stumbled upon us, but the comments made by the other players again marred my experience.

We eventually got split up and I made my way towards a dam where I encountered another pack of zombies. I stopped for a second to look through my inventory and about two seconds later I was shot in the head by an arrow. I died.

And that’s when I realized, players in H1Z1 are d*cks. But for every five-or-so a**holes you’ll encounter, there’s also the chance you’ll meet someone like DocMB, just a nice guy looking to survive.

H1Z1 is in early access right now. Although the game is free-to-play, it costs at least $19.99 to play it right now. If you’ve got a thick skin and are used to the childish behavior expressed online, then give it a shot. Yes, there are some glitches and bugs. Yes, things still need balancing. But the overall experience, despite the obnoxiousness by players, is still a fun time.