Cartoon Network Racing – PS2 – Review

Cartoon
Network and kart racing. The two go together like Mario and kart racing, Sonic
and kart racing, or Mortal Kombat and kart racing. In every case it doesn’t
sound like the most plausible idea. But when Nintendo proved otherwise in the
early 90s, game publishers everywhere watched in envy and quickly followed
with their own kart titles.

Cartoon
Network Racing (CNR) is the byproduct of our industry’s traits – another
cookie to throw on the plate. Cookies, no matter how similar their shapes may
appear, do not all contain the same flavor. They are often differentiated with
sprinkles, frosting, or a fruity filling. Not knowing which flavor to use,
some chefs like to toss in every ingredient they can find. CNR is that cookie.
It’s the sugar, pumpkin, peanut butter, pecan sandie, and chocolate chip of
the kart racing world.

These
ingredients might sound delicious on paper, but let’s pause and think about
this for a moment. Individually, they make for quite the tasty treat. But
would we really want to mix them together? Would we really want a chocolate,
pumpkin and peanut butter pecan sandie?

Network
Racing

When the
stars of several Cartoon Network shows get the urge to race, there’s only one
thing to do: hop in a car, grab a partner, and fight for the finish line.

That’s it
for the concept, now on to the contents.

Play as
characters from Courage the Cowardly Dog, Cow and Chicken, I Am Weasel, Johnny
Bravo, The Powerpuff Girls, and Dexter’s Laboratory. Each show has its own set
of tracks (three to be exact), and they tend to follow the theme of the show.

I haven’t
watched Cow and Chicken enough to tell you if they live by the sea or whether
they’ve visited Iceland, but two of its levels are titled “Sea Sea Rider” and
“No Business Like Snow Business.” The Sea stage is a watery land with
bridges and areas of H2O danger. Snow Business is the inevitable winter stage
found in every kart racer (and many action/adventures). You don’t notice any
flakes falling, but the roads are covered in snow. Ice is an infrequent
hazard, though it’s still best to avoid it as much as possible.

The last Cow
and Chicken stage has fled my memory, but the manual says it’s titled after
the show (as are all the final stages of each tier).

“A Walk In
The Park” and “Tilt We Meet Again” are two of Johnny Bravo’s courses.
Park is set up like a haunted mansion – another Mario Kart clone. Tilt gets
its name from its pinball design, which, as it turns out, has already been
done in a previous Mario Kart game. The idea is still a little interesting.
There are bumpers to avoid, and with the cars’ lack of stability, you might be
fooled into thinking you are a pinball.

“Saturday
Fright Fever” is Courage the Cowardly Dog’s second course. It is, as you could
probably guess, another haunted house-type stage. “Farmed and Dangerous,”
Cowardly’s first, is a Bob Evans-approved track that reeks of Mario Kart.
There’s just no escaping that game. I suppose you could if you tried to
implement a few original ideas, as Crash, Sonic, Diddy Kong, and other Mario
Kart clones did. But CNR makes no such attempt. It doesn’t seem to try to cover up the
fact that it’s a clone.

Likewise,
the power-ups came from the Mario Kart playbook: bombs, enemy-seeking
missiles, speed boosts, a faux power-up (to mislead and slow down opponents),
and an oil can that makes the road slick.

You have two
characters on your team – one who drives and one who grabs and throws
power-ups. Oh where could they have gotten such an idea?

Given how
much I like the Mario Kart series (and numerous other kart racers), I don’t
expect most of the newer games to be original. In that respect, my
expectations for Cartoon Network Racing were very low.

However, I
did expect the game to, at the very least, play fast and control
efficiently. Neither expectation was fulfilled. The game is very, very slow.
You don’t have the 50, 100, and 150cc cup options that Mario Kart provides.
There isn’t a way to make the vehicles go faster. Brief power boosts don’t
really count, not when you spend the rest of the race driving like grandpa on
a Sunday morning.

Steering
mechanics, the most important control aspect of any racing game, are handled
very poorly. Make one little mistake and you’ll collide with a wall or an
opponent. Collisions make the game run slower – believe me, you do not want
that! Try to escape the newfound attachment and you’ll bounce away from your
opponent, slide around the track, and have a difficult time gaining full
control again.

Having years
of experience behind me, I know how to handle a game with bad controls. CNR is
not a total mess – I guess that’s something – but it is monotonous. Perfect controls wouldn’t have made
this game exciting. Without any thrills to look forward to, CNR’s replay value
is very low.

Review Scoring Details for Cartoon Network Racing

Gameplay: 5.0
A slippery,
poorly handled racing game that mimics Mario Kart’s every move. It’s hard to
steer, moves at a tiring pace, and is filled with course designs and layouts
that have already been produced by other games – and in a much better form.

Graphics: 6.0
Awesome
backgrounds, but that’s it. The worlds are lively and seem like cool places to
visit, but are complete knock-offs of the recent Mario Kart games. Drivers and
their vehicles come cel-shaded, but the effect isn’t done very well.

Sound: 6.0
Kooky music
that’s so happy it’ll make you wonder where it came from. None of the Cartoon
Network characters have lives that are that cheerful.

Difficulty: Easy
Easier than
trying to sit through a lame Saturday morning cartoon. (We’ve all done it… Why
does it never occur to us that we could just get up and walk away?)

Concept: 4.0
Nothing ventured,
nothing gained. Nothing original, nothing praised.

Multiplayer: 5.0
Too slow and
shallow to be an enjoyable, long-lasting multiplayer racer. Only two players
are supported, and this is a PS2 game. Four-player split-screen was not
uncommon 10 years ago on N64. What gives!?

Overall: 5.0
It’s hard to
recommend this game to anyone. Cartoon Network Racing doesn’t do anything
special. It doesn’t contain any hidden hooks, nor does it fulfill the promise
of bringing the excitement of a CN series to the video-game world. Kids will
play till they’re bored (a day or two, max), which means they’ll have another
“toy” sitting on the shelf that goes untouched.