Try as I might, I cannot get the
crazy looping "Catz lullaby" out of my head. It’s one of those things that
sticks with you in your mind and you can’t stop it. Like an annoying
commercial that makes you cringe, yet you constantly hum it as your day goes
by, Catz has that disturbing quality when it comes to that darn song.
Otherwise, Catz is a game that features not much depth or challenge to it; I
mean, it is about cats after all.
Now before you get all up in arms
and start sending me emails saying your cat is awesome and so on and so forth,
please know that I have one-and-a-half cats myself. I say that because I am
the owner of one cat named Marci who is as skittish as any animal that has
ever walked the face of the Earth. Even after 10 years, she shies away from
both me and my wife and only seems to want attention as we are just about
asleep. The 1/2 of a cat I own is this pseudo stray named "Bob." Bob likes to
come around every once in a while and stays inside a little cat kennel we own
when the weather gets too cold or she wants a regular meal as opposed to the
mice I’m sure she is gobbling up as I see she has taken up residence in my
backyard wood pile. Bob, likes to be held when inside and loves the constant
petting my two boys lavish upon her when she comes in for a visit. Marci would
rather eat a rock than let those boys touch her. So with that said, the game
Catz is leaving me in an interesting predicament because the cats in this game
are both friendly indoor cats who love attention lavished upon them and have
no desire to go live outside in a wood pile; so I’m having a hard time
relating to the game.
"My cat would never let me do this
to her."
Ok, Ok, I know, the Catz franchise
started off on the PC and had a pretty decent following behind it, but where
the PC version and the DS version vary is with the DS touch screen. Borrowing
heavily from a certain Nintendogs title, you can use the stylus and touch pad
to scratch and pet your little kitty and the microphone to talk to it as it
makes cute little kitty cat sounds. Sound familiar? Yup, it is. Now I know
that imitation is the sincerest form of flattery so I can’t begrudge them too
much. I mean, there are gamers out there that don’t like dogs and prefer cats,
so this may be an option for them if they so desire. The big problem with
gameplay though, where in Nintendogs you could take your dog out, play Frisbee
or catch and generally have a good time competing in disc-catching
competitions and making money to buy things, you can’t do that with your cat.
Nobody walks a cat anymore, it’s just weird and you certainly can’t play
Frisbee with a cat, it would just look at you like you were a fool when you
threw the disc "I hope you enjoy going and getting that Frisbee, cause I ain’t
gonna." You can toss some cat-sized toys around and get the animals all worked
into a tizzy and ultimately tire them out, which brings me to the game’s main
objective – pictures. Throughout the game, you will receive e-mails from
friends and relatives asking you to take a picture of their cat in various
states. Some want an action shot of them playing with a new toy, others want
one where the cat is asleep.
But it really is just more of the
same. In fact going to other peoples houses and taking photos of their cats is
really just mean to your own cat, isn’t it? "Hang on Gangrene (the cat) I have
to leave you now so I can tucker out someone else’s cat so I can take a
picture of it sleeping, hope you enjoy being alone while I do it – bye." Poor
cat. Completing these little tasks will earn you kitty cards, little factoids
about cats that are supposed to make you a better caretaker of cats both in
the game and in real life. That’s it, not much more to the game unless you
consider buying outfits to put on your and cat and taking pictures of it to
send to your friends via multi-card play. Just for fun I thought I would try
and place a Halloween mask on my cat Marci; surprisingly she wouldn’t stay
still for a picture. We’re still trying to coax her out from under the bed.
"Can you pick which one out of a
lineup that stole your milk Mrs. David?"
It isn’t anything terribly
complicated when the graphics come into play. The houses that you and your
friends/clients live in are very large and have literally no clutter or much
in the way of furniture. You can see the bowl of food and the kitty box, but
the game kind of has those ho-hum kind of graphics. In fact, when you
initially pick out your cat, I thought they all had a unhealthy look to them.
Look at that picture above, are those cats eyes in the right spot? Who bred
these animals? Regardless, the cats look and act alright when you are as close
as you can get, the petting is fairly accurate because I do know that once you
start petting a cat, they don’t want you to stop any sooner than a month. This
is called "cuddle" time, and oddly enough the game camera zooms in and just as
you start lavishing affection on your cat, the camera just as quickly zooms
out. So there are some below par graphics and design going on here.
The last thing I’ll mention before
we get to the scoring details is that crazy song. It is actually painful to
listen to, and my six-year old, who has had moderate enjoyment playing this
title, loves the song. Other than that, the little kitty sounds sound fake and
un-authentic. But the fact that the kitty lullaby actually was written by
someone and pings around in my head like a verbal migraine is enough to induce
nausea.
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Gameplay: 5.8
There isn’t mush to the game, you
can play with your cat, play with other people’s cats and take pictures.
Collecting kitty cards is really an afterthought.
Graphics: 5.2
I’m still convinced the kitties in
this title were bred by an shady dealer. They don’t look right, they make
funny cat-like sounds, the house they live in aren’t full of needless
paperwork and other junk, where’s the realism?
Sound: 2.5
Possibly the worst song ever
created in the history of everything. Sound effects are also disappointing.
Difficulty: Easy
It’s easy because there is no real
depth to the game. Even when you fail to get a photograph, you get the "oh
well, better luck next time" and then next time comes four minutes later.
Concept: 5.5
It’s a port of a game that was
mostly an attention diverter for bored office workers. The game is inane and
devoid of any sort of challenge.
Multiplayer: 2.0
The only thing you can really do
in multiplayer mode is send one another pictures of cats. We may have had
something if there was a mouser competition or sofa-scratching contest, but
there simply is not.
Overall: 4.4
My six-year old was real excited
about the game when I first got it, but that excitement has disappeared and he
has moved on to another better title. My wife has tried to stick with it as
well, and she too has become tired of the lacking challenges. If both the
young and the young at heart turn away from the game, then that should give
you a good idea what you are getting into.
