EyeToy: Kinetic – PS2 – Review

Do you work too much to
workout? Are you tired of hearing about Tae-Bo? Do you wish you looked like a
sexy supermodel, but fear you have more in common with Snorlax than Cindy
Crawford?  We all live busy lives of boredom. Adding a workout program to our
list of duties is just crazy.

Unless
there was a way to take the "work" out of the workout. Is such a thing even
possible? Only when you’re having fun. EyeToy: Kinetic aims to entertain while
teaching proper fitness information in a virtual environment. In other words,
this isn’t the linear DVD workout video you bought from Lose a Zillion
Pounds.com.

Built with special help
from one of the world’s biggest athletic supporters, Nike, EyeToy: Kinetic was
designed to make you use the other muscles in your body (you know the ones –
any muscle not connected to your thumbs). Dance Dance Revolution has been
effective in slimming and trimming dedicated [obsessed?] gamers, but this an
EyeToy game. Just one question remained after seeing it in person at E3: how
can this possibly work?

Sony had professionals
playing the game continuously to show how an expert would (could) play.
They moved with perfect precision and finesse. The average Joe couldn’t match
their movement if he tried. I don’t like to refer to myself as average, but
when it comes to exercising, I’m no expert. And with

Achatz Pie Co. locations opening all over Michigan, there’s a definite
risk for pound packing.

Fearful I was, but
fearful I am no more.

First things first:
EyeToy: Kinetic is extremely responsive. When you’re waving your hands around,
punching the air, and/or holding your body in a strange, unbalanced position,
you don’t have the time to worry about bad controls. EyeToy games don’t use a
controller outside of menu selections – they use your arms, hands, legs, feet,
any part of the body that the game feels is necessary to the gameplay can be
taken advantage of. The amazing thing is how well this game takes advantage of
your body.

A soft golden glow covers
your body as it’s projected on the screen, intensifying with every movement.
This is merely a graphical effect to register your presence to the viewer,
which obviously is the person playing the game. When it comes time to strike,
if you hit that point on the screen (by moving in front of the screen, you’re
not supposed to actually touch it), the game picks it up. You could have the
camera angled in a weird position, and as long as you re-position your body
and see yourself hit the object on screen, the move will be successful.

My failure and infrequent
frustrations did not come from a technical issue that should’ve been ironed
out – I lost because of me! It sucks to admit that, but I was using a 13-inch
screen and had to maneuver around a lot of wires (where else would I store my
controllers but on the floor where people can trip on them?).

Larger screens work
better. A 27-inch or higher is your best bet, but I was very pleased with the
game’s overall performance on my puny GXtv.

Now that you know the
game works, let me tell you why it rules.

The two main modes are
Routine Builder and Personal Trainer. Routine Builder lets you practice each
game and come back for more whenever you please. It also allows you to save
the workout that you think is best for you. Personal Trainer is the full
workout program that asks you to come back several times a week for games that
gradually increase in difficulty. The beginning games are the most basic, and
depending on how you answered the introductory questions (your weight, how
active you are, etc.), might not feel like much of a workout. The game
stresses (as do I) not to push yourself too hard too soon. That’s the last
time I’ll say it.

Within the 10+ game types
are varying degrees of speed and difficulty. Cascade, which is located in the
Cardio Zone, is intended to improve cardiovascular fitness and reflexes. Red
and blue balls scroll across the screen and your goal is to hit the blue ones
by reaching and striking them before they disappear. Hitting the red balls
reduces your point total and is where most of the challenge comes in.

Breakspeed is a
completely different kind of game. Located in the Combat Zone, Breakspeed is a
three-minute quickie that would make Mario and Luigi proud. Tetris-style
bricks appear on the four corners of the screen, and you have to do whatever
it takes to eliminate them. The harder you punch or kick, the more bricks that
are eliminated. I’m not sure how the game is able to measure strength, though
I assume it detects your speed and translates that into stronger and weaker
hits. My first time with this game type was very intense; I put everything I
had into it, worked my butt off to destroy all the bricks, and walked away
with a "master" rating.

Breakspeed in action.

Two days later I could
feel that workout in my arms and my legs!  It reminded me of the first
time I played Dance Dance Revolution. Slowly you build stamina and can play
for longer periods. That’s where this game is most effective. Playing one of
these games once or twice a week is nowhere near enough to be effective in the
long term.

Pulsate (Cardio Zone):
Hit the blue balls when they expand. Unlike Cascade, these balls appear in
specific locations and stay there until you hit them or until enough time has
passed for them to disappear.

Ricochet (Cardio
Zone): Referred
to as a game that’s "agile and actively erratic," Ricochet has you dodging the
red balls – which ricochet off each side of the screen – while hitting the
blue balls. This one can be quite tricky and should be played in a room where
you have a lot of space to move around.

Arcburst (Cardio
Zone): Slow
circular motions are the key to defeating these snake-like ball clusters. The
on screen demonstration shows a woman waving her arms similar to Yuna’s famous
dance in Final Fantasy X, though I’m sure none of us guy gamers will attempt
to play that perfectly. Being clunky is better, trust me…

Wildfire (Combat
Zone): Yellow
balls hover, expanding to red whenever they’re touched. The goal is to hit
them, avoid touching them when they expand, and repeat this motion until each
one is destroyed.

Backlash (Combat
Zone): A clever
variation of the punching bag, Backlash has four bars that slide inward toward
the glowing circle in the center of the screen. Punch and kick these bars to
keep them from ever touching the circle. Should they touch the circle you’ll
lose points and have to rehash your actions. Over time mistakes lead to more
work than you’ll be able to handle. Like Breakspeed, you have to practice to
get really good – and build up enough stamina – to be a consistent winner.

Work those muscles! Come ‘on, you can do it!

Trespass (Combat
Zone): The balls
are attacking! The balls are attacking! Fight back. Destroy the yellow balls
and be ready to duck and sidestep to avoid the red ones.

Reflex (Combat Zone):
This one’s pretty interesting. Balls are shot up from the bottom of the
screen, and instead of hitting them whenever, you must punch or kick them as
hard as you can into the virtual wall. Harder hits eliminate more of the wall.
While similar to some of the other game types, Reflex requires good reflexes.
That makes perfect sense. If it required you to move as fast as, say, a
breakspeed, then we know just what it would be called.

Protector (Combat
Zone): Another
game of dodge-and-attack. This time the red ball is big and constantly moves
around the screen while small yellow balls are shot at you. Hit the yellow
balls to be successful; avoid the big red ball to keep your point total from
dropping.

Sidewinder (Combat
Zone): This one
should’ve been called "Protector." In Sidewinder you have to protect the big
yellow ball in the center of the screen from all the other balls being shot at
it. Punch ’em fast and don’t let the center ball get hit.

Precision (Combat
Zone): Several
cylinders, one goal: punch and kick them until their energy has been depleted.

Reactivate (Mind &
Body Zone):
Strike the balls that are highlighted; avoid the ones that are not.

Equilibrium (Mind &
Body Zone): Hit
all the glowing bars simultaneously. Requires quick thinking and good balance
— if three bars appear you’ll have to kick one of them while striking the
other two with your hands! This one is slow but fun and is very challenging.

Impeccable flexibility helps, but you don’t have to look like her to play.

Energyflow (Mind &
Body Zone):
Follow the flow of energy with your hands. It reminds me of Tai Chi and takes
a bit to get the hang of.

Outbreak (Mind & Body
Zone): Draw a
ring with your arms to catch the green balls.

Other game types,
including Yoga, Tai Chi and Meditation, demonstrate what needs to be done from
multiple camera angles, including one that shows what you’re doing. Though
beneficial, these games are not interactive in the same way that the other
games are. It’s more like watching a workout video than playing a game.

I walked away from EyeToy:
Kinetic very impressed (and tired!). It’s not the ultimate, end-all solution
to sculpting your body. But does it get you moving? Yes. Does it get your
heart racing, work your muscles, and teach you important fitness information
that few gamers know? You bet. I’m so much more inclined to make this a part
of my daily routine than a typical workout that isn’t interactive and thus
isn’t as fun.

Review Scoring Details for EyeToy: Kinetic

Gameplay: 8.5
I never thought
I’d have this much fun working out. I’m not the lazy type, but a pillow and a
game controller seem a lot more appealing after a long day than an hour at the
gym. EyeToy: Kinetic won’t replace that hour. It will, however, get your heart
racing and burn a fair amount of calories without letting your mind wander to
that dreadful place, “Whoa, this is hard work. I should be at home sitting on
the couch.” With EyeToy: Kinetic you’re already home, and once you start
playing that tempting couch of yours will look pretty boring in comparison.

Graphics: 8
The EyeToy camera
doesn’t create the clearest picture (it was slightly fuzzy in all
circumstances and in different lighting situations), but the realistic trainer
animations help guide you through each motion.

Sound: 8
Verbal feedback
and words of encouragement from the female trainer. The male trainer is a
little harsher, but neither as cruel as the real thing. Musically the game
isn’t mind-blowing, but the sound blends well into the background and very
rarely becomes annoying.

Difficulty: Medium/Hard
EyeToy: Kinetic
is not an easy game. This is health and fitness, so you can make it as simple
or as difficult as you want. You don’t have to push yourself, nor do you have
to let the game push yourself. That’s not what the developers intended.
The game constantly monitors your performance and makes suggestions if it
thinks you’re pushing yourself too hard.

There are point totals, levels, a rating system and a
listing for burned calorie estimates. But if you suck you suck. If you’re slow
you’re slow. The important thing is that you play it safe and that you get
your body moving. As much as we love to sit in confined places playing Shadow
of the Colossus or SOCOM 3 for hours on end, our bodies were not built for
that. They were built to move, and EyeToy: Kinetic motivates you to do that.

Concept: 9
An ingenious way
to make gamers put down the controller without making us put down the game.

Overall: 8.5
You’ll need to do
more than play this game to stay in shape, but EyeToy: Kinetic is a great
start and a great addition to any workout routine. It’s a great way to fool
yourself into thinking you’re having fun, when in reality you’re having fun
and benefiting from the games that require the use of muscles other than
the ones inside your fingers and thumbs. It’s fast, enjoyable, and can get
pretty intense at times. If you’ve got the will, EyeToy: Kinetic’s the way,
and if you’ve got an EyeToy, then you mustn’t let its best game pass you by.