Game Elements Freak Series – Ninja – PS2 – Review

Freakishly good.

They’re big.
They’re ugly. They’re deformed. And ugly. (Whoa … deja vu.) Some would say
that they’re downright hideous. Others might call ’em freaks. Well guess what
gamers? Those people would be right. The ones who call ’em freaks, I mean. The
others would be close, but when it comes down to it, these guys are freaks. It
says right on the packaging.

Freak
Series – Ninja.

See? I told
you it did.

This unusual
PS2 controller casing reminds me of 80s and early 90s toys like He-Man and the
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. It has a certain quality that kids will be
attracted to, almost without question. At the same time it has that classic
toy quality that should appeal to young adults.

The Freak
Series has been around a while, but this is the first Ninja controller to be
released. The best way to describe it is to imagine what would happen if the
star of Onimusha (Samonosuke) hooked up with one of the vicious monsters he
battles – the controller would be their lovechild. And lovely it is. The
deformed plastic shape begs the question: how in the world could this
controller function? How could I stand to hold it in my hand for more than an
instant, let alone press its buttons and game for hours with it plugged into
my PlayStation 2?

My worries
were alleviated when I got the chance to wrap my hands around a non-working
Ninja Freak Series controller at the Electronic Entertainment Expo. I couldn’t
believe how smooth the plastic felt, and how comfortably it sat in my hands.
The buttons were inaccessible but felt very nice. The thumbsticks were coated
with a Gargoyle-ish plastic face – appropriately unattractive; an eyesore for
horrific gaming (like Resident Evil or Bubsy 3D. Whichever you think is
scarier). They were creepy but comfortable. That sounds odd, doesn’t it? To
say that something is "creepy but comfortable." You wouldn’t hear that in a
police report. That’d be like saying, "The bread is moldy but delicious."

Without a
fully-functional controller available, I was left to wonder whether or not the
Freak Series had what it takes to take a bite out of gamers.

Today I got
my answer. With my left hand firmly wrapped around this mutated beast, I
injected a sedative and began to watch the monster lose its power over me.
Soon you would be hooked up to my PlayStation 2. Soon you would be under my
never-ending control, mu-ha-ha-ha-ha!

(I learned
my evil laugh from Bowser. Pretty effective in situations like these, wouldn’t
you say?)

The buttons
are top-notch material. Although the button sensitivity is the same, they have
a little more resistance than the average third-party controller, adding extra
life to the years of punishment it will be forced to endure. (By other gamers
of course, not by me. I’m never harsh on my controllers, unless I’m playing
Metal Slug 3. Then all bets are off.)

They (the
buttons) come covered in a textured symbol that represents the square, X,
circle and triangle symbols from the standard PS2 controller. In this case
they were designed to be like Asian symbols, which was a great idea given the
fact that this is a ninja I’m playing with. If only Ninja Gaiden were on PS2 –
then I could be doubly deadly!

Equally
impressive are the shoulder buttons, which again feel great. They don’t stick,
they don’t falter – and this isn’t even a finished product I’m using! It can
only get better from here.

And
hopefully it will. The left analog stick is pretty smooth, though it doesn’t
quite feel right. (I’m very picky when it comes to analog sticks. They have to
be exactly right or the red flags will start rising.) The right analog stick
was very stiff and kept sticking. This almost certainly a final kink that
needs to be worked out, and judging by the quality of the rest of the
controller I’m betting that it will be. Why would the developers go through
the trouble of making a great controller only to ruin it by forgetting to
perfect the analog sticks?

Pros:

• Cool style
  – if you want a PS2 controller that looks different, look no further.
  

• The
  eyes…the eyes! The glowing! They’re glowing! (You’ll know what I mean when
  you plug it in.)

• Extremely
  comfortable mold.

• Reliable
  buttons.

• Can take a
  beating and still keep on … lying completely still. That’s what
  controllers do. But at least you can sleep easy knowing that even though
  you’ll be haunted by its creepy design, it won’t be broken when all is said
  and done.

Cons:

• The analog
  sticks / directional pad need a lot of work.
  

Verdict: 8.5
Assuming the analog sticks are fixed in time for the controller’s release,
this will be a hot item this Halloween. It’s success should carry over to
Christmas as well, but why wait to stuff it in a stocking when you could stuff
it under your ghost costume, pop out and say BOO! Scare the pants off the
gamer in your life, then make him/her smile with delight at the sight of
something most unsightly.