Made Man – PC – Review

Made Man,
published by Aspyr and developed by Silverback Studios, follows the life of
Vietnam veteran Joey Verola. In this Godfather-inspired action game, you will
have to work your way up the ranks of organized crime until you’ve got it made
in the shade. Sounds decent enough, right? Wrong.

Made Man:
Confessions of the Family Blood, at its core, is a run-and-gun snore-fest. It
packs itself chock-full of gratuitous blood, violence and language all while not
accomplishing anything even remotely innovative or enjoyable. The plot is worse
than a Uwe Boll film in that there’s absolutely no direction. It’s literally
impossible to comprehend what’s going on as one minute you’ll be taking part in
organized crime of some flavor, while the next you’re an unpatriotic soldier in
Vietnam.

The A.I. is truly
what renders this title unplayable. As with the case concerning the plot, the
artificial intelligence of your enemies is exceedingly unbalanced. In the
flashback Vietnam sequences, the opposing force is darned-near unbeatable. Even
when you’re crouched “safely” behind a structure, they’ll still be able to
target and kill you. On the flipside, you can be standing ten feet in front of
an enemy in other levels and the geniuses won’t even acknowledge your presence.

Made Man’s
developers appear to possess the notion that having excessive blood and gore
negates the need for an actual workable gameplay system. An example would be the
retort kill feature. Executed by pressing the F key, Joey will finish off a
helpless foe in a very naughty fashion. Not only is this a complete gimmick, but
it’s another tacky illustration of unwarranted violence in place of real
gameplay.

The single-player
is a ridiculously undersized affair. If you can fend off the callous A.I.,
you’ll complete the entire game in only a few hours. There’s no multiplayer or
bonus content of any kind. What you see is what you get, and no matter how you
look at it, what you see is pure compost. Of course, I’m referencing Made Man’s
decade-old visuals. The character models are decent enough, but particle
effects and environments are pitiful in every way, shape and form. From the rain
that looks akin to someone aiming a shower head at your specific location (zero
draw-distance on weather effects), to generic, barebones crates and barrels,
Made Man is an absolute eyesore.

Audio is no
better. There are a couple recognizable licensed songs in some of the cutscenes,
but the in-game soundtrack is monotonous and unimaginative. The voice-acting
would fare a smidgen above mediocrity if the script weren’t so atrociously
awful.

At the end of the
day, Made Man has no redeeming factors and doesn’t hold a candle to the titles
it attempts to imitate (Max Payne, etc). Even at its budget sticker price,
you’re getting an under-polished, underdeveloped and generally horrific coaster
of a disc.
 

Gameplay: 3.2

What does Made Man
do right? Answer: nothing.

Graphics: 3.5

Average at best
character modeling and sub-par everything else.

Sound: 3.7

The voiceovers are
solid, albeit sometimes over-acted, and there are some feel-good oldies thrown
in. However, the writing and in-game soundtrack are both appalling.

Difficulty:
Easy-Hard

As mentioned, due
to the A.I. being so preposterously unbalanced, the level of difficulty can
range from in-your-face to “I’m standing in front of your face, but where are
you?”

Concept: 3.0

The hypothesis is
of ample quality, but the delivery is an hour late and the pizza is cold.

Overall: 3.1

Made Man is
utterly horrendous in every conceivable aspect. Your money is better spent
elsewhere.