Welcome to the land of spoilers.
In a not so shocking turn of events, Ray Velcoro (Colin Farell) is not dead. I'm almost positive everyone saw this coming. Talk about some cheap thrills and fast rides. This week's episode opens in the same creepy bar where Velcoro is speaking to his father. “Maybe you’re already nervous,” his father says. “Maybe you lacked grit. I see you, running through the trees. You’re small. The trees are like giants. Men are chasing you…You step out the trees. You ain’t that fast. Aw, son. They kill you. They shoot ya to pieces."
"Where is this?" Questions Velcoro, clearly he's in some form of purgatory because he instantly wakes up and finds himself on the floor of Caspere's brothel house.
There's a bit of character development in the back of an ambulance where we hear a scolding from Bezzeridies (McAdams) on why Ray should not go rogue. We also discover that it was rubber bullets that blasted Velcoro in the chest. What do you mean that he was shot in the chest with riot gear? Are you somehow insinuating that there are dirty cops in this show? BLASHPHEMY!
We jump to a scene where Frank (Vaughn) is in an office with his pants around his ankles and his wife between his legs. Frustration and awkward conversation fill the room when we find out that Frank can't get it up and they're in a doctor's office collecting samples. A fight ensues and Frank proclaims that there's nothing wrong with him which results in his wide leaving and limply throwing a sample cup at him.
Bezzeridies and Paul (Kitsch) have a moment in the car where Ani asks him if his publicity with the actress would inhibit him from doing field work. Paul jumps down her throat before she gets a chance to finish her sentence, rendering him completely surprised that she wasn't judging him, merely asking a question.
Velcoro and Frank meet in their usual creepy bar, albeit there's no kill me now singer. we notice that Velcoro isn't drinking, and he is livid. He lets Frank have it for putting him in a dangerous situation. Frank finally indulges Ray with details about how Caspere was involved in his business.
We've established that everyone is in on this big thing in some way, so that naturally brings Ani and Paul to the mayor's house to speak to his fabulous, train wreck, mail order bride. Obviously she would be huffing gas in the afternoon, "it's medicine for my eyes." Paul questions her about phone calls made from Caspere to the house at all hours of the night, while Ani stumbles onto some floor plans. There's a run in with the son who knows his rights and is an organizer for "specialty events."
Ray heads to the doctor and we discover that he is a trash can kid. Booze and drugs and a terrible health chart. The doctor blatantly asks him, "Do you want to live?"
Frank pops up at one of his old investments and starts asking for a cut of the business. We learned last episode that he's broke. He may or may not have threatened the foreman's family too. Watching Vaughn turn into a gangster is delectable.
Ani and Paul end up at Caspere's bank box and collect deeds and blue diamonds. Meanwhile there's a bounce back scene that's headhunting both Bezeriedies and Velcoro. The mayor wants Ani's head on a platter for going to his house and the State thinks that Ray is corrupt and are gathering evidence against him. Ray tries to be taken off the case, looking for a way out and he's instantly shot down.
Moving forward, Ball busting Bezeridies breaks up with her boyfriend. WAIT A MINUTE, are you insinuating that she has attachment issues, because we could tell from the crazed hard exterior and the fact that she ran away from a commune.
We officially meet Velcoro's ex cop, pot smoking, father outside of purgatory. He's a surly old man who hates the police now, claiming "there's no PD anymore." He keeps throwing out his badge every time he sees something on the news he doesn't agree with. Ray tells his father not to do that because he'll "wake up one day and miss it."
Flash forward to the poker room, and Frank is losing a deal with the Russians. We are literally watching Frank's entire empire diminish before our eyes and it's become clear that someone is trying to knock him off the ladder. In usual fashion part of his team hasn't showed up for the meeting, Stan. Oh boy, this is ominous. Last time this happened Caspere showed up dead and mutilated.
Finally the moment we've all been waiting for! The gay scene. Everyone has already gathered that Paul's reserved military character is into guys, but this proves it. He meets up with an old war buddy and recollects back on times in the desert and a romantic day they shared. In obvious repressed fashion, Paul freaks out and pushes him on the ground. What may have seemed like a little bro scuffle was actually recorded by a shady on looker.
Caspere was evidently creating tax breaks for movie sets, so Ray and Ani go investigate. Here we find out that a car was stolen from the set and an employee quit suddenly over family problems. The state's secretary is back digging up paperwork, "just trying to get everything in order."
SHOCKING! Stan is dead and mutilated! He's found lying at the bottom of a vat in a factory. Frank now knows officially that someone is after him.
Paul hits the streets talking to hookers trying to get some more info about Caspere. He finds a boy walker who knows him and says that Caspere fancied the expensive European puss at the club. Paul is told he won't be let into the club with the "angsty cop drama" he's wearing.
Ani and Ray are at his apartment when Ray's ex wife shows up and tells Ray that the state police dropped by her home. They were asking her if she had ever seen "extra cash lying around that she couldn't account for, if she knew him to be violent, or if she suspected retribution was enforced on the man that attacked her." She then proceeds to give Ray an envelope of $10,000 to not contest the custody of their son. She proclaims that the money is a way out, and the result of him staying won't be easy for Chad. In the end Ray solemnly says, "Put that envelope away, I'm going to pretend like you never thought I would take it."
Frank and Paul end up at the same strip club, the very same that Frank owned at one point. Paul does some undercover work and finds out that Caspere used to like watching couples go at it. We get a name, Tasha, "one of those euro tricks" and that she's been missing for a bit.
Meanwhile in the back, Frank has gathered the masses trying to figure out who's after him. The big boy that we previously met who now owns the club dismisses Franks orders saying that he doesn't run the club anymore and that Frank has nothing anyone wants to take. Frank then goes fifty shades of gangster on big boy and beats the hell out of him. There is something ridiculously gratifying about watching Vince Vaughn lose his mind and pull out someone's gold grill and teeth with a set of rusty old pliers.
Ani and Frank go to interview the crewman who quit the movie set when out of nowhere, around the corner their car gets set ablaze by a masked assailant. This leads to a chase through tent city that almost gets Ani run over by a car. Velcoro saves her but, not without the masked arsonist getting away. Bezzeridies thanks Ray, and he proclaims while huddling on the ground "if you want to thank me tell me what state has on me." She says she doesn't know. I'm really confused by this relationship.
Frank returns home, his wife says that she has been waiting for him. As he throws the teeth he has collected into his trash can she asks him, "do you want to talk?" And he proclaims "maybe tomorrow."
It's predictable and I'm so bored. Unlike last season where I was in love with Rusts character by episode two, I barely care about anything that's going on. I guess because this is a massive ponzi scheme that if everything starts falling into place now there won't be much material left to fill the last five episode, but COME ON! After giving us a page out of Game of Thrones by killing a major character, you instantly revoke it within the first 3 minutes of the second episode. I'm finding it very difficult to relate to these characters. It's not the actors' fault, McAdams, Farell, and Vaughn are doing a great job. I would just rather watch a dune being built over the course of years of hounding coastal wind rather than sit through this ridiculously slow plot development.
True Detective airs on Sundays at 9pm.
