WarioWare: Smooth Moves – WII – Review

In between
the few Mario and Zelda releases, Nintendo produces two series that
popularized the idea of mini-games: Mario Party and WarioWare. No one has been
able to escape the plumber party, which once received yearly updates like a
sports game. WarioWare, on the other hand, is the king of unusual and the
master of quirky. Its strange ideas and eye-popping mini-games do not share
the appearance of other Nintendo games.

Those who
look at (but do not play) the latest chapter, WarioWare: Smooth Moves,
could easily be turned off by the odd images of giant noses, uneven
fingernails, and occasionally, a cow’s dirty rear. Onlookers may also be
turned off when they discover the purpose of those odd images: you have to
pick the nose, clip the fingernails, and wash the cow’s booty.

No, this
doesn’t sound like a good or clever idea for a new game. But play Smooth Moves
for five minutes and your mind will be changed. The quick, react-in-an-instant
mini-games are really addictive. I’m not a big fan of cow-washing, but in a
world where most games look, sound, and feel the same, it’s exciting when a
game goes in a direction most people wouldn’t even consider an option.
Visually and aurally, the most appealing thing is that Smooth Moves doesn’t
care if it’s appealing.

Crazy?
Ridiculous? In need of some serious psychiatric help? Yes, Smooth Moves is all
those things. And that’s precisely the point.

Nice
Moves

Smooth Moves
doesn’t play by the rules; it makes fun of them. The game is comprised of
several different mini-games. Each is placed into a different category that
determines how you’re supposed to hold and move the Wii remote, which the game
refers to as a “Form Baton.” (“The Balance Stone,” AKA the nunchuck
attachment, is detached for most of the game.)

The
Chauffeur, one of the first categories, tells you to hold the remote sideways
like a steering wheel. To be more precise, it says (with accompanying artwork,
soap opera music, and a monotone voice-over):

“Turn the
Form Baton sideways and wrap your hands around both ends. As the Form Baton
turns, so too do the Earth and all upon it, from liver to liveryman.”

This weird
message is the beginning of WarioWare’s unique brand of weirdness.

Form Baton Basics: “(1)
Always use the wrist strap. (2) Play standing in an open area. (3) Let go of
your inhibitions.”

Micro
Games

Smooth
Moves’s mini-games are so short that they’re referred to as “micro games.”
Many of them can be finished – or lost – in less than 10 seconds. Some are
over in five seconds. Too short? They probably would be in another game. But
this isn’t any other game – you’re supposed to fly from one absurd task to the
next.

The number
of mini-games per level ranges from 8 to 18. You get four tries to make it to
the boss, who must be defeated to proceed to the next round.

Using The
Chauffeur position, players have to turn the remote quickly to launch a TV off
a conveyer belt. If successful, the TV will be pushed through an enlarging
machine and be given a Wario-approved mustache.

The
Handlebar, a stance based on how you ride a bicycle, introduces you to the act
of pumping (quickly pushing your hands up and down) to inflate a balloon.

The Waiter
and The Discard are two of my favorite positions. They’re some of the best
examples of how the game applies multiple micro games to each position.
Holding the Form Baton like a waiter, you place the remote on the palm of your
hand. In this position the game may require you to balance a broom (be very
steady) or some other object.

“Hold the Form Baton straight with the tip
pointing forward.
This simple stance reflects one of life’s fiercest – and greatest – sports:
channel surfing.”

There’s
another micro game that, from that same position, requires the use of your
other hand. You have to tap the Form Baton (the remote itself, not a button)
as if you were tapping a loose table. The goal is to tap it faster than your
AI opponent. Both players have paper figures on the table – the faster you
tap, the more likely it is that your opponent’s figure will fall first.
Truthfully I couldn’t see myself playing a real game like this, but it’s
amusing for the five seconds it appears in WarioWare.

The Discard
is the most unusual of all the game’s positions. To play these games, you set
the remote on the floor (or any other stable surface) and wait for a cue. The
first one is pretty easy: it’s a drawing of a phone, which rings shortly after
it appears on screen. I grabbed the remote as fast as I could, assuming that
the phone needed to be answered. That turned out to be the case, which led me
to believe that all other Discard micro games would involve a similar task.

As an
unfamiliar man lay still on the floor, you wait for his assassin to approach.
Pick up the remote just before the killer strikes and his victim will spring
from the floor and attack first. There’s no blood or implications of murder
involved with the preemptive strike – just a silly animation.

“Turn
the Form Baton sideways and hold it firmly from above in your right hand.
Let the spirit of the noble sucker punch guide you to victory.”

There is
also a Discard micro game where you control a six-sided die. You wait for the
game to tell you what to roll. My first thought was to pick up the remote
immediately after the number was given, but that was not the answer. Since the
die’s movement is directly tied to the remote, you’re not supposed to pick up
or roll anything. The object is to, after studying the die’s position, tilt
the remote in the direction that will make your number appear.

Boss battles
are not what you’d expect. Rather than take on some disgusting, overgrown
monster, you must complete an objective that fits within the rest of the
game’s framework. The first puts you in control of a large paper fan. Wave the
Form Baton forward – repeatedly – until the enemy blows away.

Bosses are
more fleshed out toward the end, but don’t expect the quirkiness to go away.
You’ll fire blasts into a big nose, battle sword-to-sword with a mechanical
samurai, and drive a car (Chauffeur-style) while trying to avoid hitting
animals as they run through the street.

The Dumbbell: “Turn the Form
Baton sideways and clutch it from below in your right hand.
True masters
exhibit a firm grip and an exaggerated grimace.”

Mini
Bonus

Though the
wacky, too-insane-to-believe-it storyline has one set path, there are reasons
to veer off along the way. Longer and more challenging mini-games – not micro
games – are unlocked for completing certain levels. These games include a
1980s-style light gun shooter with one life per game! It’s very fast
and fun, and is a zillion times more accurate than the previous generations of
light gun shooters.

The
Tetris-inspired Block Star is a mini-game of thought and balance. Blocks fall
from above, and your goal is to catch them on a moving platform (whose
movement is tied directly to the remote). Catching them does not cause them to
disappear – you must collect every block and prevent them from falling off the
platform. The blocks come in many different shapes and sizes, and will fall at
varying speeds.

Tower Tennis
is like ping-pong meets Arkanoid. Keep the ball bouncing as you move up
through the tower. Blast through bricks along the way, and hit special objects
to gain extra points.

Review Scoring Details for WarioWare: Smooth Moves

Gameplay: 8.3
One of the
strangest games released in the States, WarioWare: Smooth Moves is enjoyment
from an unexpected place. The too-short-for-words micro games are physically
entertaining and aesthetically amusing. You don’t have much time to think
about what you’re doing – just grab the remote, use the proper position, and
don’t look back. The main quest is over in a couple hours, but there are tons
of bonuses, additional mini-games, and high replay value to ensure you don’t
get bored.

Graphics: 7.0
There isn’t much
to WarioWare’s visuals, but the game looks sharp. The paper-thin drawings are
like Flash animations. Interactive images of Mario, Zelda, and Pikmin are a
cool treat for every Nintendo fan. (Two-dimensional, 1980-Mario holding a Wii
remote – how cool is that!?)

Sound: 7.0
The sound
perfectly fits Smooth Moves’s ridiculous atmosphere. But it can be a little
annoying, which was most likely done to build tension and to make us laugh.
The controller explanation sequences are some of the weirdest (and strangely
amusing) things you will ever see in a game.

Difficulty: Easy/Medium
Smooth Moves’s
difficulty leans more toward easy, but is fairly flexible with its growing
challenges and bonus games.

Concept: 8.5
A new breed of
crazy quirky. WarioWare is trippy and generally indescribable. You have to see
and play it to believe it. Once that happens, you won’t want to play anything
else.

Multiplayer: 7.9
Darts, jumping,
and big nose flight/combat are among Smooth Moves’s multiplayer game
selection. They’re fun, but not as entertaining as the single-player games.

Overall: 8.1
If everything
you’ve just read has made you confused or worried, you might want to play
WarioWare: Smooth Moves before making a purchase. It’s original and addictive
– but it’s not for everyone.

If this
review has intrigued you, or at the very least made you curious, then hesitate
no more. When Smooth Moves puts its moves on, you’ll be swooning faster than
Wario after finding a pot of gold.